Widow

by Apples of Idun

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    The 2005 debut album. Still a few copies left!

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07:07
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05:58
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05:14
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04:20
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05:14
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05:05
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credits

released March 9, 2005

Written by Eetu Moisio
Mixed by Eetu Moisio and Joona Lukala
Mastered by Joona Lukala

Vocals, keyboards, programming: Eetu Moisio
Bass on "Mathematics" and "Morning Prayer: Jouni Korhonen
Drums on "A Walk in the Park": Jani Vilhunen

Cover art by Eetu Moisio and Bobby Beg

© & ℗ Apples of Idun 2005
n©b TEOSTO

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Track Name: Skin
I'm tied to my chair, I keep watching the rain
I suppose I'm discarded, suppose I'm going to faint
A wide cloak of blame, regret is moving the waves
The eye of the storm a playground for the brave

Just leave me here It's better if you leave me here
It's better this way my dear Just leave me here

I see an empty chair, is this my freedom?
Ain't this a strange affair, I feel I belong here
It's all so sudden, a bit frightening
This oblivion is my own
Maybe I'll find the things I couldn't find in your world
I hope no one will kill my dreams like you did

My skin is like a prison wall keeping me in
This time I'll make it fall, this time I'll make it
I do not like it at all, I do not like it

You keep dragging me
You want to keep me in
Inside of my skin
Track Name: The Day We Stood Up
The way they are leaves me so uninspired
I feel like a liar
Can't keep lying to myself that I'm having fun
Cause I'm not
And all this hours slip away
I feel the need to portray the man I really am
And you really don't understand
Inside a head there is a thought
All this madness made it rot
But I won't let you spoil it I still control it

The razorblade in my throat, is growing
It's going to end my speech, I know it
But these walls are bleeding dry
The tear has left the eye
And we are all so hopeless
There's no way we could survive
But we'll sure put up a fight
It is our mind you're stealing
The one true healer

The day we stood up was a day too late
Track Name: Mathematics
I'm not an honest man
But I still have my feelings
Can't say I do not care
Cause I'd do anything for you
But time is running fast
And I have my objectives
I don't know where it's at
But I will find my blessing

Between some precious thoughts
I learnt a vital lesson
Although I have it all
It's still you I'm missing
I have no god
But I'd pray for your forgiveness
And after all of this is gone
It's only you I'm missing
Track Name: Morning Prayer
I've gone through some changes
Fear is discardes frailty
My heart is aching Not that it's broken, my heart is sick
Sick of this world And all of its people I'm wondering
What is your excuse for being here

But I need you

I swallow my disgust
I know there ain't much that I can change
I have nothing against you I find no comfort in hating
I don't understand your prayers
They come in different layers
Like a disease I don't understand your prayers
Track Name: Army of Flies
You speak, they listen
Every day now
Have no, opinion
None of them knew how

We live in silence, why do you shout?
This is over, no longer we are your mouth

Whatever you promised did never appear
This bandage of trust you tied around fear
But when the fear is removed
We won't need you, we don't need you So go ahead now
Try to reach our heights, when you're on your way down
The army of flies has arrived, we were living a lie
Now nothing will ruin our day

You get no, attention
You look so small in your grief
Trying to assure us
Claiming that you did care
Shut up, you liar
Your truth has expired
Tainted, tasteless
Beginning of nothing new
Track Name: Shower of Hail
Race through me, have no patience
Whisper to me, you know what I need
Do you like the way I touch you?
Do I make you complete
Uncomfortable silence
A whisper weights a ton
Make me happy and then leave
I hear the elevator go down

My eyes can see through, my dirty window
Down there somewhere, you walk the street
You sink so deep, you feel the need to
Return to me, you return to me

You bleed...
...like no one's bled before
I need you to see

This man that you came here for
Is not me
But he's in me
Race through me
You know what I need
Track Name: Floods
Blind, how could I've been so blind, it all was in my sight
I never knew I should watch out for my eyes
Swallowed all the lies, all of it despite
I always knew we weren't made to fly
Now borrow me a line, the ones in my mind
Make me want to fuck myself and die
But oh, I got to keep, keep you near me, otherwise I'll be sinking slowly

I'll be sinking slowly

Now, everything I see, it's all behind a fee
I don't want to pay for your worthless treats
A mind full of streams, there's no way to heal
Each one is flooding just to be free
A room with a chair, a rope from the roof
You can keep your suicidal images as a proof
I've always let them be, I love my life I need
To stop my mind from sinking

I'm reaching for you, I feel I'm fading away
So far from the truth, but still I'm fading away
When you fall, you must grab on to something in order to stay
I hope you take me seriously, cause I feel I'm fading
I feel I'm fading
Track Name: A Walk in the Park
My head is getting worse, I'm ruining every chance I get
Can't restore the feelings, lost in the space
I hoped would not exist
But in the wilderness of fear,
i found myself without my skin
No shelter here to protect, Oh mother,
release me from my sins
I know this is a test, a puzzle for me to solve
I just hope my fuzzy mind can find, every piece it holds

So come along

Take me through the fire, all the smoke I can not breathe
Once I learnt to love the dark, now I don't feel the need
As hopeless as this all might seem, i'm sure there is a way
I'll be out of this mess, and back again one day

So come along

I wish I could be back in the day
The eagles could fly
The eagles could fly in space

And I don't ever want to be, like they taught me to be
Strange dilemma here, i love the way they are
I betray all of my kind, how can this even be?
Track Name: Numb Ers
You are gone...
You are gone and numb

Those vultures they will never help you
They suck you dry, make you think that you bloom
Suffocate, they stole your reason
In your thirst you drink more of their blood

An open mind can be so misleading
Innocent will take the beating
To understand you need the distance
Vanish in to the core of resistance

I will dive down under your skin
Then I'll know what's the course of this thunder
I will sail away from your sea
The world I'm heading for won't be living by numbers
Track Name: Muzzle
Decisions, all the time you make decisions,
dig deep in to the dirt
Keep your wishes, they're no good in here,
buried under truth and fear

To feel safe, they build a cage
The fields are all in flames
No one is counting the days anymore
They are just hoping for, some more

Never underestimate, you'll fall down for sure
The thing you thought was deep inside
Is boiling right under your own skin
It will burst out anytime now
Just when you least expect
Believe me, there's no greater enemy
Than the one you hide in yourself
You keep protecting yourself

I put my fingers through your hair
Just to show you there's a sense of care

Now hail the inner animal, the one denied for far too long
Praise the urge of honest survival,
we got so sick of human skin
So bleak and always stuttering,
the days of fake innocence are gone
So let us drift apart

I think, I will stay right here