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Widow

by Apples of Idun

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Juha Aavaniemi
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  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    The 2005 debut album. Still a few copies left!

    Includes immediate download of 12-track album in your choice of 320k mp3, FLAC, or just about any other format you could possibly desire.
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  • This disc and other items available at Apples of Idun STORE
1.
Skin 07:07
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I'm tied to my chair, I keep watching the rain I suppose I'm discarded, suppose I'm going to faint A wide cloak of blame, regret is moving the waves The eye of the storm a playground for the brave Just leave me here It's better if you leave me here It's better this way my dear Just leave me here I see an empty chair, is this my freedom? Ain't this a strange affair, I feel I belong here It's all so sudden, a bit frightening This oblivion is my own Maybe I'll find the things I couldn't find in your world I hope no one will kill my dreams like you did My skin is like a prison wall keeping me in This time I'll make it fall, this time I'll make it I do not like it at all, I do not like it You keep dragging me You want to keep me in Inside of my skin
2.
The Day We Stood Up 05:36
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The way they are leaves me so uninspired I feel like a liar Can't keep lying to myself that I'm having fun Cause I'm not And all this hours slip away I feel the need to portray the man I really am And you really don't understand Inside a head there is a thought All this madness made it rot But I won't let you spoil it I still control it The razorblade in my throat, is growing It's going to end my speech, I know it But these walls are bleeding dry The tear has left the eye And we are all so hopeless There's no way we could survive But we'll sure put up a fight It is our mind you're stealing The one true healer The day we stood up was a day too late
3.
Mathematics 05:58
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I'm not an honest man But I still have my feelings Can't say I do not care Cause I'd do anything for you But time is running fast And I have my objectives I don't know where it's at But I will find my blessing Between some precious thoughts I learnt a vital lesson Although I have it all It's still you I'm missing I have no god But I'd pray for your forgiveness And after all of this is gone It's only you I'm missing
4.
Morning Prayer 05:49
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I've gone through some changes Fear is discardes frailty My heart is aching Not that it's broken, my heart is sick Sick of this world And all of its people I'm wondering What is your excuse for being here But I need you I swallow my disgust I know there ain't much that I can change I have nothing against you I find no comfort in hating I don't understand your prayers They come in different layers Like a disease I don't understand your prayers
5.
Army of Flies 05:29
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You speak, they listen Every day now Have no, opinion None of them knew how We live in silence, why do you shout? This is over, no longer we are your mouth Whatever you promised did never appear This bandage of trust you tied around fear But when the fear is removed We won't need you, we don't need you So go ahead now Try to reach our heights, when you're on your way down The army of flies has arrived, we were living a lie Now nothing will ruin our day You get no, attention You look so small in your grief Trying to assure us Claiming that you did care Shut up, you liar Your truth has expired Tainted, tasteless Beginning of nothing new
6.
Sofaman 05:14
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7.
Shower of Hail 06:12
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Race through me, have no patience Whisper to me, you know what I need Do you like the way I touch you? Do I make you complete Uncomfortable silence A whisper weights a ton Make me happy and then leave I hear the elevator go down My eyes can see through, my dirty window Down there somewhere, you walk the street You sink so deep, you feel the need to Return to me, you return to me You bleed... ...like no one's bled before I need you to see This man that you came here for Is not me But he's in me Race through me You know what I need
8.
Floods 04:20
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Blind, how could I've been so blind, it all was in my sight I never knew I should watch out for my eyes Swallowed all the lies, all of it despite I always knew we weren't made to fly Now borrow me a line, the ones in my mind Make me want to fuck myself and die But oh, I got to keep, keep you near me, otherwise I'll be sinking slowly I'll be sinking slowly Now, everything I see, it's all behind a fee I don't want to pay for your worthless treats A mind full of streams, there's no way to heal Each one is flooding just to be free A room with a chair, a rope from the roof You can keep your suicidal images as a proof I've always let them be, I love my life I need To stop my mind from sinking I'm reaching for you, I feel I'm fading away So far from the truth, but still I'm fading away When you fall, you must grab on to something in order to stay I hope you take me seriously, cause I feel I'm fading I feel I'm fading
9.
A Walk in the Park 08:20
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My head is getting worse, I'm ruining every chance I get Can't restore the feelings, lost in the space I hoped would not exist But in the wilderness of fear, i found myself without my skin No shelter here to protect, Oh mother, release me from my sins I know this is a test, a puzzle for me to solve I just hope my fuzzy mind can find, every piece it holds So come along Take me through the fire, all the smoke I can not breathe Once I learnt to love the dark, now I don't feel the need As hopeless as this all might seem, i'm sure there is a way I'll be out of this mess, and back again one day So come along I wish I could be back in the day The eagles could fly The eagles could fly in space And I don't ever want to be, like they taught me to be Strange dilemma here, i love the way they are I betray all of my kind, how can this even be?
10.
Numb Ers 05:14
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You are gone... You are gone and numb Those vultures they will never help you They suck you dry, make you think that you bloom Suffocate, they stole your reason In your thirst you drink more of their blood An open mind can be so misleading Innocent will take the beating To understand you need the distance Vanish in to the core of resistance I will dive down under your skin Then I'll know what's the course of this thunder I will sail away from your sea The world I'm heading for won't be living by numbers
11.
Muzzle 05:05
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Decisions, all the time you make decisions, dig deep in to the dirt Keep your wishes, they're no good in here, buried under truth and fear To feel safe, they build a cage The fields are all in flames No one is counting the days anymore They are just hoping for, some more Never underestimate, you'll fall down for sure The thing you thought was deep inside Is boiling right under your own skin It will burst out anytime now Just when you least expect Believe me, there's no greater enemy Than the one you hide in yourself You keep protecting yourself I put my fingers through your hair Just to show you there's a sense of care Now hail the inner animal, the one denied for far too long Praise the urge of honest survival, we got so sick of human skin So bleak and always stuttering, the days of fake innocence are gone So let us drift apart I think, I will stay right here
12.
Tranquillizer 03:31
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credits

released March 9, 2005

Written by Eetu Moisio
Mixed by Eetu Moisio and Joona Lukala
Mastered by Joona Lukala

Vocals, keyboards, programming: Eetu Moisio
Bass on "Mathematics" and "Morning Prayer: Jouni Korhonen
Drums on "A Walk in the Park": Jani Vilhunen

Cover art by Eetu Moisio and Bobby Beg

© & ℗ Apples of Idun 2005
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